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And in the nineteen US states where corporal punishment is still legal in the public school system, wooden paddles are used on children as young as preschool, and parents’ permission or notification is often not even required.

By contrast, in every branch of the US military and in the US penal system, physical punishment has long been outlawed as it was deemed ‘cruel and unusual’ and a ‘use of excessive force.’ Clearly there is a disconnect when it comes to physical punishment of the most vulnerable and defenseless of our citizens, our children.

But in the next second, the man suddenly yanked his wife out of her seat and landed several stinging blows on her bare skin before flinging her back into her seat, this time screaming at the sobbing woman, “You are not in charge! ” He then slammed her door shut, stomped around to his own seat, slammed his door, and pealed out of his parking space.

I quickly snapped a picture of the license plate with my i Phone and called the police to report the domestic violence I’d just witnessed.

Whenever things escalate to the point where you withhold affection and connection in order to punish or try to control behavior, and certainly if you are hitting or if you are hurting your child emotionally through threats, intimidation, and shaming, you can be sure you’ve stepped off the gentle discipline path.

But there is always a way back, and that’s through reconnection, owning our mistakes, and starting again.

In parenting there will always be times when your child’s behavior doesn’t meet your expectations.

As I stood there staring through tears at the tail lights speeding away, I realized that if I’d just witnessed a man doing that to his wife I could call the police who would intervene immediately because there are laws to protect adults from domestic violence, but there are no such laws protecting children in the US. Was she frustrated that dinner was pizza again because she’d been delayed at work? If a man was having a bad day, we wouldn’t accept that as an excuse for domestic violence. Though I know I can’t change the world for every child, I am determined to change the world for as many children as humanly possible. We just need the domestic violence laws already in place to protect adults to be extended to protect our most vulnerable, voiceless, voteless citizens, our children.

My opportunity was lost to touch those small children’s lives, and my heart aches for them. Hitting any human being other than a child is against the law in the United States where it is legal for parents to hit their children whenever and wherever and with whatever they want to as long as it doesn’t leave lasting marks and, in nineteen states, for school officials to hit children with anything from rulers to two foot long boards. Did you know that there is less evidence linking lead exposure to developmental delays in children and asbestos to cancer than there is of the short and long-term detrimental effects of spanking?

Study after study has confirmed that spanking (not just physical abuse, but aggression and other behavioral issues, impaired cognitive development, and increased risk of depression and anxiety in childhood as well as long-term mental issues in adulthood.

And yet the American public is still reluctant to dismiss the physical punishment of children as an option for parents and school systems.

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It is not unusual for public opinion to evolve slowly.